What I’ve Learned About Being a Woman While Trying to Raise Support for Bible School

As most of my readers probably know by now, I am going to a Bible school starting this August. I’m super excited to learn all that I can during my time as a student.

For those who don’t know, the school I’m going to is tuition-free, however, I must pay for living expenses and supplies while not being able to work because the school is four years put into two. This meant I had to raise support, and I did! I’m so happy to have made my support.

Raising support as a girl was so stressful at times that I felt sick and went many nights without sleeping.

I’m going to share a few of the comments and remarks I’ve come across while working to find people who would support me.

I hesitated to share these because I don’t want to shame or point a finger at anybody and say “these types of people are the problem!” that’s not what I’m trying to do. I understand the point of some of these questions. I understand that most of those remarks weren’t meant to be demeaning. I understand wanting to put money in someone’s journey that will become a preacher because they’re right, I will never be a preacher or an elder.

I share these to show the discouragement I did face, even though I know the hearts of everyone who made comments along those lines were good.

I’m very grateful for the support that I have been given. My current congregation, a few other congregations, and a lot of wonderful people have come to my support. Knowing that there are people who do believe in me and my goals is encouraging and motivating to do my best as I enter the school year.

Today, I wanted to talk about what I’ve learned from trying to go to a Bible school as a girl, something that I didn’t know was looked down upon by a lot of people until I decided to become a student.


Sorry, we don’t support girls.

My first thought was, “Why?

You would think that me saying I wanted to be the strongest Christian I could be and seeking to gain more knowledge and teaching skills would be a good thing, after all, women still teach Bible classes for kids and they teach other women, isn’t that important?

A lot of people think my ultimate goal is to be married, they are wrong, marriage is merely a side goal in the grand scheme of life, yet, wouldn’t these people want me to be ultimately equipped with Bible knowledge to teach my future kids?

Women are the main teachers of the next generation in their most impressionable stages, doesn’t that matter?

We see over and over again in the Bible how an ungodly woman can bring so much harm to her husband and the church, think Samson, Solomon, and the “Jezebel” woman harming the church in Thyatira.

Being a strong, faithful Christian is a command to all, even to women.

In light of all these things and even more, why would you discourage a girl to go to school to learn more about God’s word and how to rightly divide and teach it? Wouldn’t you encourage everyone who had the opportunity to go instead?

There’s no need for you to go to school.

To which I would ask, “Have you ever gone to a women’s class at an event?” The answer would be no because I’m talking to men and they have no clue, but trust me, there’s a need.

Going to a women’s class is typically the biggest letdown. You sit there wishing you had just snuck into the men’s who are currently having an in-depth study in the other room, as the poor, shaking woman up front reads one verse, make a surface-level application, and ask the age-old question of, “Are you usually a Martha or a Mary?”

Once again, I am not trying to shame anyone, I know a fair amount of wonderful speakers who are women, I think application from the story about Martha and Mary is good even though I’ve heard it a lot.

Yet, sadly, it’s very expected for women’s classes to be bad, and it shouldn’t be.

I’m lucky to be in a congregation where the women in it are strong and are talented speakers, but I’ve gone places where I leave thinking, “I have to learn how to speak so I can help the next generation to not sit through that.”

A negative way I would describe my experience in the church as a woman (there are MANY positives, don’t get me wrong) would be being told that I have potential, that I have a purpose, that I can be as strong of a Christian as any man, and then every class I go to directed towards my gender is about being a good wife and mother. Yes, those are important and good things that I want to learn about, but there are other things such as being faithful that I think are even greater. To be a good wife and a good mother one day, I first have to be a good Christian, but that is forgotten.

One time I was with my boyfriend and there was a stack of doctrinal books (I’m keeping this vague), and I pointed to the one book on the table that said for women on the cover, and I said, “Open that book.”
He did, it was a recipe book. Among books that gave tips for effective teaching and for studying the bible deeper on your own.

He thought it was really funny that the only book directed towards women on that table was a recipe book, and there’s nothing wrong with recipes. I think cooking is an important skill for women to have. I didn’t learn how to cook on my own until I was around sixteen and luckily my mom realized that we needed to fix that problem so I started cooking dinner at least once a week that summer if not more, and that’s how I learned to cook, it is a needed skill, don’t get me wrong.

But, I told my boyfriend that the recipe book for women alone up there among all of the deeper books for men was how it felt sometimes in the church.

Underestimated.

Yes, this is good that I can do, but do you realize that there is even more that I’m capable of?

You are just going to be a wife.

I don’t like this one, this is probably my least favorite one because suddenly I feel so ashamed to ever want to be a wife and a mother at all.

I’m not sure if that makes sense, but sometimes marriage and motherhood feel so demeaning to me because of the overall attitudes of, “That’s all you’re good for.” and “That’s falling short on your potential.” that I am constantly torn between.

It’s the older generation’s overall attitude of,

Only a wife and a mom.”

And my generation’s attitude of,

Just a wife and a mom.”

Both of those are demeaning to women, and neither are correct.

I think that’s a big thing with my generation of girls, we’ve felt like we are going to be confined to only a wife and a mom, so we’ve started saying things like, “I don’t want to just be a mom.”

Yet, there’s not one person who is only or just one thing.

First and foremost, I am a Christian, I will be a Christian whether I get married or not.

Yes, one day I hope to get married, but credits don’t start to roll when you say “I do”, this is not a movie. My life and my purpose doesn’t start or end at marriage.

So, what have I learned?

I know up until this point the majority of this post is just me responding to the common remarks I get, but truthfully, these did get to me.

I have been fighting two parts of me that were supposed to be harmonized and equally important.

When I first started planning to go to Southwest, I had reached the conclusion that I would be single forever, for one, there aren’t a lot of good guys and there weren’t any in my life that I could see a future with. Another reason was to prove a point, I am valuable, whether I am dating, engaged, married with kids, or single. I have a role to play in the church no matter what.

Here’s the thing though, I like being a helper and I do want to be a stay-at-home mom one day, I’ve wanted that since I can remember.

So, here I am. There have been times that I’ve thought, “If only I was a man.” and times where I wondered if people were right and that I should just get married instead of going to Bible school, maybe they’re right that it’s a waste of time.

I suppress one part of me for the other. I leave out wanting to be a wife and a mother one day when people ask me my plans for my life because I don’t want anyone to look down on me.

I want to write books. I want to speak to fellow women. I want to reach the lost. I want to be a strong Christian. I want to be a person people know they can go to for help and prayers. I want to make an impact, a difference, to be someone who makes the world a better place even if it’s in a small way.

Yet… who said raising godly children isn’t making an impact or a difference? Who said you can’t be a strong Christian and a wife?

Who made us think that we can’t do both?

Why do I think I can’t do both?

I am not one thing.

No one is.

This year, I’ve learned it isn’t possible to just be one thing, you cannot fit in a box or a stereotype, and that’s a wonderful, beautiful part of being human, isn’t it?

God made us with so much potential and hope.

Jael, Deborah, Rahab, Esther, Mary, Priscilla, and many, many more women in the Bible prove that women aren’t just or only wives and mothers. There’s so much more to us.

Obviously, you don’t have to go to Bible school to be a strong and knowledgeable Christian, but there is nothing wrong with wanting to.

We are here to glorify God and point others to Him before anything else, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure I am equipping myself to do that to the best of my abilities.

I’ve learned that I can be a woman and, hopefully, a strong Christian leader and a good example in my own right one day.

life update

Hey guys!

Since it’s been a second, I’d thought I’d act like it’s the old days for some of my earliest readers and do a little life update.

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these since my life is pretty same old, same old and I try to not overshare on the internet.

So, if this is something you’re interested in or something you’ve missed if you’ve been following me since I was fourteen (wow, it’s been a LONG time, y’all.) stay tuned.

Also, if you have anything you’d like to see on this blog, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! Inspiration would be greatly appreciated and I only have a month left where I won’t be super busy and can work on writing more for y’all on here. :))

Without further ado, here’s a handful of things that have happened this year so far:

-As written on here (it’s somewhere I know) I’m going to Southwest School of Bible Studies in Austin this august!

I have been working on raising support since I won’t be able to work while in school for two years. It’s been stressful, especially as a girl, but I’m getting there and am excited to start learning this fall. I’m so thankful for all the amazing people I’ve met already at the start of this journey, and I’m praying that I’ll continue to make connections with fellow brothers and sisters, as well as become a stronger Christian and learn valuable lessons and skills that I can use to benefit the church and reach the lost.

I honestly can’t believe I have a little over a month before I move. 😶 How crazy that the moment I’ve felt was so far away all my life is now practically here.

-Earlier this year, my mom and I went to a women’s retreat (Women of Valor) and as always we had a good time there

The lessons were great and the people were amazing as well.

-I got a new job for the summer since all of my other jobs ended with the school year

I’m now working with… you guessed it… more kids! This time in a preschool as a teacher’s aide, and let me tell you, it’s been a LOT of paperwork, training, and certifications that will expire by the time I’m able to use them again for a job I’ll only work for three months. Money is money though, and I’m just glad they hired me despite me moving when August comes.

-If you have been keeping up with me, you probably know that I am in a relationship for almost six months. If not, surprise!

My boyfriend is really sweet and has not only met my standards but raised them as well with how he treats me and the godly character I have seen him show. He is a big encouragement and always does a great job at reminding me of the bigger picture. I thank God for him every day. :))

-A few of my sisters and I took a small road trip to a sunflower field one afternoon

It was very pretty and very bright!

-I went to hear my boyfriend preach in another town and saw this beautiful sunset on the way home which I thought was noteworthy

The lesson fantastic too though. 😂

-If you can’t tell, I really like sunsets and sunrises (and every time they’re super pretty I’m driving without my camera)

If you ever want to be friends with me, it’s very simple: send me a pretty picture of nature, or a song recommendation, and boom! We are besties. I love you. You’ll probably be in my future wedding.

I’m serious though, four years ago a reader from my old blog sent me an email with a song recommendation because the song made her think of me… I still think of that person. I didn’t even know this person’s full name, but I still am grateful for this person, that song graces pretty much all of my Spotify playlists to this day.

I know y’all didn’t ask for a tutorial for how to be my best friend, but here y’all go.

-I’m still into photography

I haven’t been taking as much pictures on my actual camera as I would like, but I still thoroughly enjoy it when I do. :))

That’s all I really have at the moment, I hope you enjoyed reading this small, random post, tell me how you’re doing in the comments!
How has your life been so far this year? Is there anyway I can be praying for you?

Stay amazing,

-Grace

Watch Where You Go: Being Above Reproach

In my last post, I talked about watching who you’re with when it comes to our relationships with others, today I’ll be talking about the second part of the “you have to watch who you’re with, you have to watch where you go,” comment.

This is another thing Christians can be careless about often but should be wary of.

 “A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach…”-1 Timothy 3:2

Blameless.

Growing up, I memorized this in the ESV, and instead of “blameless” the word was “above reproach”. My mom made a big deal about being above reproach.

To be above reproach means that you are not only innocent, but people know you are because you have never given them a reason to believe otherwise. Your reputation should be so good that if someone lied about you, no one would believe it.

If someone for some reason spread a rumor about me stealing from the collection plate at my congregation, I would hope that no one would believe it because they know me. They know how seriously I take obeying the Bible and I have never acted suspiciously or have given them a reason to believe I would steal.

Yet, if I was with a group of friends and we went to a bar, even if I didn’t touch an alcoholic drink, people would have more of a reason to believe rumors of me drinking because I wasn’t above reproach in that decision.

I would be putting myself in a bad and no longer God-honoring situation.

1 Thessalonians 5:22 tells us to “abstain from all appearance of evil.” this means to not only stay away from bad situations but also to stay away from situations that appear bad.

Don’t put yourself in a situation that looks bad because it can easily turn bad.

A few months back, one of my siblings thought they saw me doing something wrong, if they had taken a closer look they would have realized that it wasn’t true, but they didn’t. Luckily, they only told my mom, the matter was explained and resolved, and the “rumor” didn’t leave our house. I was really upset by the thought that my sibling would not only think something like that of me, but by the fact that they didn’t come to me first because I could have easily laid the matter to rest, but in hindsight, it didn’t look the best and I should have been more careful of being blameless.

We need to be above reproach. We need to be blameless.

 “…having your conduct honorable among the Gentiles, that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may, by your good works which they observe, glorify God in the day of visitation.”-1 Peter 2:12

If someone accused you of doing something inappropriate I pray that the people who hear those accusations would be able to say, “There’s no way, they would never do something like that.”

Instead of, “Well, I could see them doing that.”

Or, even worse: “I knew it.”

“And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.”-Ephesians 5:11

We should never flirt with evil, we should never find enjoyment in the sin that Jesus died on the cross to save us from.

Are we flirting with evil when we go to watch that explicit movie in the theater?

Are we flirting with evil when we go to prom even if we dress modestly and don’t take part in the more sensual dances and the afterparties?

Are we flirting with evil when we go to places known for bad things?

Are we flirting with evil or is it just evil?

I have to ask myself these questions a lot to make sure I’m not letting myself slip, to make sure that I’m watching where I go.

Does it look like evil to the people who might see you entering and leaving those places?

What example are you setting for new and weaker Christians by your current actions?

We need to watch where we go because it matters.

“Dead flies putrefy the perfumer’s ointment, and cause it to give off a foul odor;
So does a little folly to one respected for wisdom and honor.”
-Ecclesiastes 1:10

If your brothers and sisters in Christ were to honestly describe you and your character, what would they say?

Would they call you a gossip? Would they say that they questioned your sincerity at times and wondered if or when you would fall away from the truth? Would they call you untrustworthy? Would they call you weak?

If we could look at the history of what thoughts we think, the places we go to, where we let conversations with our friends trail off to like we can look at internet history, what would it show about our character?

If that’s a scary thought, maybe it’s time to re-think and change some things.

Are we blameless or are we failing to watch where we go?