Dear Parents, Where are You?

Maybe I’m not the person to be writing this post, I’m not a parent, I really have no qualifications when it comes to giving advice to parents.

Maybe you’re a parent and you’re reading this and already think I’m rude and immature, maybe you’re wondering where my parents are.

Maybe you already feel disrespected by this post although that is the farthest thing from my intentions.

Maybe you want me to be silent. To you my age means that I cannot think for myself or speak for myself, so I should not be addressing you at all.

Children are to be seen and not heard, right?  

Where are your parents? You might be thinking, but I am here to ask you: where are you? 

Dear Parents

Where are you when there are adults commenting sexual things in the comment sections of videos of your nine-year-old dancing to an explicit song on tik tok?

Where are you when your fifteen-year-old daughter is posting sensual photos on Instagram looking like a twenty-five-year-old?

Where were you when your son got addicted to pornography?

Where were you when your daughter got pregnant?

 

I know it’s not fair to blame it all on the parents, y’all are human too, but where were you?
Where are you?

 

Maybe you’re reading this and thinking, “I’m glad my kid isn’t doing stuff like that.”

Are you sure? 

I am here to tell you that as a peer of your children and as someone whose younger siblings are peers to your children, that there’s a lot you don’t know.

I see twelve-year-olds with iPhones with full access to the internet, and I shutter.

Because I know.

Peer pressure.

Social media.

Anything they can imagine at the tips of their fingers, all they have to do is go to a search bar. 

If you’re not looking over your child’s shoulder, if you’re not picking up their phone and going through it, you’re dumb.

I trust my child, you say.

Ok, but you are their defender, you’re their advocate, and you’re just going to stand aside and let them be attacked like this?

I scrolled through the accounts a boy that I had been talking to followed on Instagram, account after account was soft porn… he followed over 2,000 people.

He wasn’t a minor anymore, but he had been on social media for years, where were his parents when he followed the first accounts?

 

It’s discouraging as a seventeen-year-old girl to realize that I am the one having the conversation with your sons about sex outside of marriage, pornography, and all these other issues because you didn’t. 

I look at my generation, a generation of boys and girls who are ruining themselves and already ruining future relationships, and I am so thankful that my parents loved me enough to not trust me fully. 

I’m thankful that the first phone I got only sent texts and calls and barely even did that.

I’m thankful that when I finally got a nicer phone, my parents took off safari, didn’t let me get social media, didn’t allow me to download apps without them looking into it, approving, and putting in their password. I’m thankful that they read through my texts, and went through everything.

Was it embarrassing at the time? Yes.

Was it hard to feel left out when all my friends downloaded snapchat, Instagram, and everything else? Yes.

Would it have been worth the exposure to sex, language, and worldliness that floods my eyes now when I make the mistake of clicking on some people’s profiles? No.

 

I am so thankful that my parents were there. I’m thankful they’re still there. When I check my Instagram and see who viewed my recent story, my mom’s name is always the first to pop up, and I am thankful. I need accountability, I need parents, not another friend. 

 

I am so thankful that they are there for my brother, hopefully, he’ll never make another girl feel terrible when she looks through who he follows and sees naked girls with unattainable bodies–hopefully, he won’t have an account to follow them on for years, if ever.

I can’t imagine how hard and overwhelming it can be for y’all, but just like your children can access information in a second, so can you. 

I’m asking you this, no, I’m begging, please be there. 

Please put parental controls.

Please look through their phone.

Please don’t let this go on.

 

This is coming from a seventeen-year-old, we need y’all. 

Your sons need you.

Your daughters need you.

We need you to be there. 

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The Spoiled Americans

I wish that I could just go see my friends…

I wish that event wasn’t canceled… 

I wish everything would go back to normal…

I wish that the stores had what I wanted… 

“And then I realized how many stupid times a day I use the word “I”. And probably all I ever do is think about myself. And how lame is that when there are, like, seven billion other people out there on the planet.” -The Princess Diaries 

It might seem like a silly movie to quote, and while it is, I still like that quote very much because it can be true about all of us.

If this pandemic is showing America and other first world countries one thing, it is that we are spoiled. 

The Spoiled Americans

Can you believe that we are over here complaining about not being able to go get ice coffee for a few months when there are people who struggle to just find drinking water every single day? 

 

I read an article today by The Balance titled The America Middle Class is Among the Richest in the World.

The article talked about why our middle class believes they are middle class when we are actually rich:

“Another reason for the middle-class en huit is the rise of mass media combined with an entitlement culture. Americans now demand more. They believe they are entitled to more. And, honestly, provided it is done in a way that doesn’t destroy the greatest wealth building system in global history, I think that’s a good thing. That is the reason life keeps getting better and better. We should all want to someday get to a point where everybody can afford Elysium-style medical intervention. This entitlement is why we don’t think anything of it when every grocery store we visit is air-conditioned or nearly everyone we know is carrying what amounts to a supercomputer around in his or her pocket.

The problem? There is a lot of evidence from behavioral economics that indicates people measure their success and affluence relative to what they see. A generation ago, you didn’t experience much beyond your own world. Now, someone earning a middle-class income can witness an endless parade of others their same age earning $10,000 a month, $50,000 a month, or $1,000,000 a month, splashed across hundreds of cable channels and innumerable internet sites as they sit at home in their pajamas.”

 

Isn’t that terrible?

It’s like an endless cycle of greed, vanity, selfishness, and misery.

“For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,  unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,”-2 Timothy 3:2-4

We don’t have to be part of this spoiled and entitled cycle though.

Combat… 

  • Selfishness with outrospection (Philippians 2:4).
  • Ungratefulness with thankfulness (Psalm 136:1). 
  • Greed with generosity (2 Corinthians 9:6-8). 

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We have so much to be thankful for. 

“In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”-1 Thessalonians 5:18

Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins and gave us the gift of eternal life if we obey Him and His word (John 3:16, Mark 16:16). That’s something to be grateful for not only every day but every second.

Starting today, let’s work on not only being grateful but realizing how blessed we are to be capable of helping others with greater needs than our own.

“But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?”-1 John 3:17

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What are your thoughts?
How are some ways you can work on changing from spoiled to grateful in this time?

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Random Thoughts + Two Things To Keep in Mind

Hey all.

I’m not sure what to write for today, I guess this post is just me reaching out in the only way I really can right now: virtually.

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How have y’all been holding up? 

Social distancing has made me doubt myself as an introvert because I am straight up not having a good time and I miss being around people without everyone being super cautious and withdrawn. When I said I needed alone time, I meant that I needed one day out of the week with no plans, not the other way around.

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feat. me trying to stay calm and not panic although everyone is now panicking

Also, so many things are being canceled, but God’s love for us won’t be canceled, and we have no more excuses now to not spend time in His word, so that’s a positive.

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My mom and I were talking about the outcome of social isolation in terms of technology.

Either, people are going to become even more dependant + addicted to social media, or they’re going to realize the need for real human interaction and relationships.

I truly hope it’s the later for the world, but if you’re reading this, remember to build relationships in real life.

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The two things that I have been trying to keep in mind during these uncertain times that have helped me are: 

 

  • How blessed we are to have a Creator who sent His Son to die for us and to want a relationship with us 

 “O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good; for his mercy endureth forever.”-1 Chronicles 16:34

“Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.” -1 John 3:1

  • That we need to look outside ourselves 

“With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;” –Ephesians 4:2

It’s so easy to be selfish in times like this and not take a second to see the full picture.
We need to stop focusing on ourselves and our needs and start focusing on others and their needs, especially in uncertain moments in life like these.

This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.-John 15:12

Be a listener, send a message or letter of encouragement to someone, be there for others despite the fear going around at the moment.  

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Let’s take these next few slowed down weeks as a time to work on becoming better.

Let’s work on stopping our lives from being about ourselves and start focusing on God, His Word, and others.

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What are you learning/working on?

 

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