Coffee Dates: In Every Season

Hey, how are you?

It’s been a second since I’ve done a post like this because I’ve just been empty when it comes to inspiration, and every time I start writing something it comes off in the wrong way.

However, I’ve realized that what I have been trying to write and keep deleting can be summed up in two sentences: 

It’s hard to be content in every season, especially the lonely ones. 

Right now, I am really struggling with being happy with where I am. 

Wow, that wasn’t so hard to write, I don’t know why I’ve had around ten drafts of me trying to say that… 

Coffee Dates In Every Season

Seasons can be tough.

Maybe you’re like me and you’re in one that you don’t really want to be in right now.

People tell me to enjoy this season of my youth, but as I’m sure you also know, that’s easier said than done. 

It’s hard to be content in a season of singleness when you don’t really want to be single.

It’s hard to be content in a season of youth when it feels like your age (or lack of it) is the only thing people see when they look at you.

It’s hard to be content in a season of little close friends when you crave connection and to be needed by others.

It’s hard, but it’s not impossible.

The Bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 3 that to everything there is a season, which means yes, there is a season to be single, lonely, and young, and even though sometimes it can be hard to understand why, we can still understand that we need to keep going.

“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”-Galatians 6:9

How can the season we’re in be used for good? 

For me, a big thing I realized was time, I have a lot of time, especially since COVID. Sometimes I think that I have way too much time because I often spend it overanalyzing things.

However, I have so much time that I wouldn’t have if I had a social life or a boyfriend, which might sound depressing, but that means that right now, I can wholeheartedly study the word because of how little distractions there are in my life.

Not only I am capable of getting into that habit now when it’s easy versus trying to dedicate myself to it when I’m in a busier season, but I have no excuse. 

I should always make time for God, but right now, I don’t really have to. I already have so much time that I can give to Him instead of using it to worry or wish that I had other things to do.

And you know what? I have come to enjoy parts of this season.

I enjoy being able to read my Bible on my bed while drinking coffee in the morning, I enjoy reading my Bible in the evening, I enjoy being able to go on evening runs, and watching the sunset over the fields. I enjoy talking to my mom late into the night, I enjoy driving back home from work with a little bit more money than I had that morning. I enjoy the quiet of this season.

So, what should you and I do in these seasons? 

We need to refocus and…

  • Seek the kingdom first (Matthew 6:33).
  • Understand that we need to be content where God has put us even when it’s hard (Philippians 4:11).
  • Know that God is with us (Romans 8:28).
  • Know that we are stronger than our struggles when we are with Him (1 Corinthians 10:13).
  • Understand that there is more to life than the things we are currently wanting (Luke 12:15).
  • Trust in the Lord (Psalm 91:1-16 ).

 

The world may tell us that we should always be wanting more, that we are not where we should be at our age or place in life, but the Bible says: 

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”-Romans 12:2

The world may tell us to seek after our own selfish pleasures, but the Bible says: 

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”-Matthew 6:33-34

When seasons are hard, we really need to take a step back and ask ourselves, “Am I living this season for me or for God?”

And then: “Who should I be living this season for?” 

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How are you doing with the season you’re currently in?

 

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Coffee Dates: Bad Day?

Have you ever had a bad day?

If your mental answer to that question was no, are you human? How long have you been living on this earth? 

Coffee Dates: Bad Day?

Most of us can think of times from recent to even years ago where we were having a bad day.

Maybe you had some good reasons to be upset, maybe you just woke up sad, both happen. 

I was having a bad day (well, more like a bad week if I’m being honest) a few days ago that made me think of this blog topic.

Why was I having a bad week?

There honestly weren’t any great reasons, aside from some petty drama that I wasn’t even involved in, nothing terrible had happened to me that week.

But because I was in that sad and a little bit down on myself state of mind, I soon found other reasons to be sad.

I got my feelings hurt by jokes that were simply that: jokes. Normally, I would have laughed, but instead, I fought back tears.

Clumsy mistakes started seeming like huge travesties on my part.

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It’s like being up at 3 a.m. when you’ve had a long school day: everything just seems ten times worse and like the world is going to end. 

Except, it’s during the day, throughout your week, when you can’t just sit in bed and stare at the wall, you actually have to do stuff.

You have to interact with people, and that’s when your bad day can start affecting other people’s days.

Obviously, most of us don’t want that for others.

We don’t want to make others feel bad, but yet, our bad days can lead to snapping at others, overlooking the needs of friends, and pushing loved ones away.

When we’re so focused on ourselves and our problems, we tend to forget that others have struggles too. 

I could come here and tell y’all that when the bad days come you guys need to take a second and pray, read your Bible, etc…

 

While you should do that, 100%, for some reason people tend to want more of a solution for a bad day.

I’m here to give it.

Are you ready? This could change both of our lives…

Stop focusing on yourself. 

Whoa, and I’m not being sarcastic when I write that, whoa.

One lesson that was taught from my youth group when I was denominational was this one:

The man teaching it that night turned to the white erase board, uncapped his marker, and then looked back at us.

“Kids, I’m about to teach y’all something huge. Something I’m still trying to learn.”

He wrote “It’s not about you” in big blocky letters on that board.

To be honest, that’s all I remember of that lesson.

But it was true:

It’s not about you or me.

 

Isn’t that what a lot of bad days are; us thinking it’s about us?

I know for me it is, I’m being selfish and throwing myself a pity party.

It’s ridiculous, I can be so focused on God and on helping others and then just throw all the progress I’ve made in that area to the wind just because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

I don’t want to do that, I don’t want to be like that, and I know you don’t either.

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How can we work on getting better with handling our bad days? 

 

  • Remember the bigger picture. Do we take a second every time we start to focus solely on ourselves to remember God, His sacrifice, His children? We need to look to Him instead of to ourselves. (Proverbs 3:5-7).

 

  • Draw closer to God (James 4:8-9).

 

  • Replace your discouragement with encouragement (1 Peter 4:13).

 

  • Focus on truth (Philippians 4:8).

Are your thoughts on your bad days…

 

-True?

-Honest?

-Just?

-Pure?

-Lovely?

-Of good report?

-Virtuous?

-Praiseworthy?

If not, then why are you thinking of them?

  • Talk to a trusted person in your life, they can help you sort through your emotions. If they’re like my mom, they might Edna-from-the-incredibles-slap you in the face with a magazine, but you don’t have to sort through tough times alone. (Also, my email is always open and I try to respond as soon as possible if you need to reach out for encouragement or prayers).

 

Let’s stop letting our bad days control us.

You’ve got this, friend.

We’ve got this. :))

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What do you do when you have a bad day?

What advice would you give?

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Coffee Dates: Siblings + How We Can Be Better Family Members Starting Today

“Grace is so lucky during this time of a shelter-in-place. She has so many siblings, when she gets bored with one, she can just go talk to another.” a lady told me that her husband commented this one day.

I laughed and I agreed that I was lucky.

I am.

My siblings are great, we all love each other and typically get along.

But boy, do we also manage to drive each other up a wall at times, especially now.

Coffee Dates: Siblings + How We Can Be Better Family Members Starting Today

-Tap my arm one more time, and I will end you.

-Keep on rolling your eyes, maybe you’ll find your brain back there.

-WHY? Just W H Y  would you do that???

-Do you enjoy personifying a gnat?

These are things I feel like I am constantly thinking or worse, saying to my siblings.

Once my mom said something that scared me and still does:

“How you treat your siblings now will determine whether or not they are in your life in the future.” 

It is one of my fears; losing my relationship with my siblings.

I have a vicious tongue, and at times I wish I could just cut it out and be done with it. I don’t want to hurt the ones I love the most with my words, but yet, I do. I feel like I constantly do.

I am thankful for my siblings and for the way they always forgive me when I have done something to hurt them, but it’s one of my fears that one day I will say something in my foolishness that they won’t be able to forgive me for.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel like an adequate older sister.

Why am I the oldest?

They deserve someone so much better than me, I am constantly failing as their older sister. Sometimes I feel like all I ever do is let them down, and I really don’t want to.

I love them, and I wish that I didn’t constantly fail to show them that with my words.

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Maybe you’re in the same boat as me.

Some days you feel like you’re doing a pretty good job being a sibling, but other days you feel like all you are doing is failing.

You snap, you sigh, you roll your eyes, and you let hurtful words escape your mouth.

How can we work on bettering our relationships with not only our sisters and brothers but our parents and everyone else around us as well?

This has been a question that has been on my mind lately, and today I am here to share my thoughts with you, but not as someone who has it all figured out and it perfect, but as someone who is still figuring it out and struggling to work on it along with you.

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 We need to look outside ourselves.

Selfishness. It gets the better of us all at times.

I personally think it’s the typical root of all of my disputes with my sisters and brothers.

I could paint my sister’s nails like she’s been begging me to or I could just watch another conspiracy video.

I could try harder to filter my words when speaking or I could just not bother about working on creating that good habit.

It’s so easy to be selfish and to only think of ourselves.

However, we must work hard to do the opposite and to constantly be striving to be better.

My mom has a phrase she loves, I cannot recall where she got it from, but it goes like:

“Good, better, best, never let it rest, until your good is better and your better is your best.”

It’s a good phrase because it can be used for almost anything, and I think it’s a good phrase for when we are thinking of our relationships with our siblings.

Another good way to check yourself is by using 1 Corinthians 13:

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;  does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Can you replace the word “love” in this passage with your name?

Could your siblings? 

Sadly, I know that I can’t, but I want to be able to and I want others to be able to say that Grace Cox is patient and kind. Grace Cox doesn’t envy or boast. She’s not rude or selfish and doesn’t get angry easily. Grace always thinks the best of people and she always wants good and truth. etc.

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This can be discouraging, but we can’t give up, because if we do, we will never even stretch the surface of getting there.

This is going to be an ongoing struggle, but you are not alone and we are capable of being better than we are. 

 

Together, let’s work on being better family members today, let’s strive to have our siblings replace the “love” in 1 Corinthians 13 with our names, starting today, right now, this very moment

“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”-Galatians 6:9

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Do you have siblings?
How is your relationship with them?

 

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