Coffee Dates: In Every Season

Hey, how are you?

It’s been a second since I’ve done a post like this because I’ve just been empty when it comes to inspiration, and every time I start writing something it comes off in the wrong way.

However, I’ve realized that what I have been trying to write and keep deleting can be summed up in two sentences: 

It’s hard to be content in every season, especially the lonely ones. 

Right now, I am really struggling with being happy with where I am. 

Wow, that wasn’t so hard to write, I don’t know why I’ve had around ten drafts of me trying to say that… 

Coffee Dates In Every Season

Seasons can be tough.

Maybe you’re like me and you’re in one that you don’t really want to be in right now.

People tell me to enjoy this season of my youth, but as I’m sure you also know, that’s easier said than done. 

It’s hard to be content in a season of singleness when you don’t really want to be single.

It’s hard to be content in a season of youth when it feels like your age (or lack of it) is the only thing people see when they look at you.

It’s hard to be content in a season of little close friends when you crave connection and to be needed by others.

It’s hard, but it’s not impossible.

The Bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 3 that to everything there is a season, which means yes, there is a season to be single, lonely, and young, and even though sometimes it can be hard to understand why, we can still understand that we need to keep going.

“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”-Galatians 6:9

How can the season we’re in be used for good? 

For me, a big thing I realized was time, I have a lot of time, especially since COVID. Sometimes I think that I have way too much time because I often spend it overanalyzing things.

However, I have so much time that I wouldn’t have if I had a social life or a boyfriend, which might sound depressing, but that means that right now, I can wholeheartedly study the word because of how little distractions there are in my life.

Not only I am capable of getting into that habit now when it’s easy versus trying to dedicate myself to it when I’m in a busier season, but I have no excuse. 

I should always make time for God, but right now, I don’t really have to. I already have so much time that I can give to Him instead of using it to worry or wish that I had other things to do.

And you know what? I have come to enjoy parts of this season.

I enjoy being able to read my Bible on my bed while drinking coffee in the morning, I enjoy reading my Bible in the evening, I enjoy being able to go on evening runs, and watching the sunset over the fields. I enjoy talking to my mom late into the night, I enjoy driving back home from work with a little bit more money than I had that morning. I enjoy the quiet of this season.

So, what should you and I do in these seasons? 

We need to refocus and…

  • Seek the kingdom first (Matthew 6:33).
  • Understand that we need to be content where God has put us even when it’s hard (Philippians 4:11).
  • Know that God is with us (Romans 8:28).
  • Know that we are stronger than our struggles when we are with Him (1 Corinthians 10:13).
  • Understand that there is more to life than the things we are currently wanting (Luke 12:15).
  • Trust in the Lord (Psalm 91:1-16 ).

 

The world may tell us that we should always be wanting more, that we are not where we should be at our age or place in life, but the Bible says: 

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”-Romans 12:2

The world may tell us to seek after our own selfish pleasures, but the Bible says: 

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”-Matthew 6:33-34

When seasons are hard, we really need to take a step back and ask ourselves, “Am I living this season for me or for God?”

And then: “Who should I be living this season for?” 

let's chat

How are you doing with the season you’re currently in?

 

signature

 

 

 

In Search of Friends

Imagine with me for a second.

You’re walking into a new place, maybe it’s a party, a devo, or even a church.

You take one look around and everyone seems to know everyone. Everyone seems to have found their clique. 

Yet, you stand there alone, unsure of who to talk to.

You attempt to start a conversation with someone but they never ask any questions back and it falls flat, anxiety sinks in making your hands shake even more as the third person this happens with walks away back to their group of friends, leaving you standing there alone yet again.

Finally, you decide to just sit down, you see someone sitting by themselves and you take a seat next to them and strike up a conversation. You’re trying your hardest, but it still doesn’t stop them from smiling at you, gathering their stuff, and moving once their friends get there, leaving you, yes, you guessed it, alone once again.

Again and again, this happens to you every time you try to make any friends.

You feel like people might as well straight up just tell you, “I already have friends, I don’t need another and I don’t want you as one.” 

Self-doubt starts to kick in.

Am I really so unlikable?
Am I just too awkward?
Am I too ugly?
Am I this bad at making friends?
Am I responsible for this? 

All you wanted was friends, but no one seems to want you. 

 

…And the Lord said unto him… (4)

Has this ever happened to you? 

It happened to me too, and it still happens.

It hurts, I know.

That’s why today I want to remind us to not make others feel this way.

It’s easy to think, “I’ll never be like that.” 

But let’s be honest, have you ever seen a person standing off to themselves but you didn’t want to leave the security of your friend group to go talk to them?

Or have you ever wanted to reach out to someone but maybe you were still feeling unlikable due to no one reaching out to you, so you did the exact same thing?

Now I want you to imagine that you were one of those people who brushed that person off: 

You didn’t mean to be rude, you didn’t even look up and realize that they had no one.

You didn’t think about taking them with you, introducing them to your friends, and making sure they were included.

It wasn’t out of malice, you just didn’t think.

You have been feeling down lately, you were just trying to get through the night and didn’t pause to realize that so were other people.

IMG_9180

How do we not become like the last person or how do we stop being like the last person?

 

 1. Remember to love others. 

This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.-John 15:12

Jesus gave us a commandment not only to love one another but to love them as He loved us.

If we are loving people with the kind of love that Jesus–the man who died to save us–we aren’t only going to be putting their needs before our own, but looking for ways to do that.

 

 2. Remember to love others first.

Loving others first is hard, but if we are trying to be like Christ, we’ll be trying to do this.

“We love him, because he first loved us.”-1 John 4:19

When I hold back from talking to a new person because of my own insecurities, am I loving them or myself first?

 “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”-Philippians 2:3

  3. Remember that people need friends.

Yes, you need friends, I need friends, we all need friends.

“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”-Proverbs 27:17

 

“For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.”-Ecclesiastes 4:10

Friendship is important and is something that should be sought out and worked for.

IMG_0567

Recently, I’ve been feeling a bit like the person in the first scenario I gave you.

I don’t mean to complain, I have good people in my life, but lately, I’ve felt so lonely.

It’s easy to feel sorry for myself in these times, but then I remember how important it is for me to feel these things so I understand others and will try harder to make sure I’m not a reason someone else goes through this.

I don’t feel a lot of times wanted and because of this, I realize the importance of making others feel wanted.

I want to be a friend, and I know if you’re reading this you want to be too.

Let’s start trying to be better friends today, right now. 

signature

Coffee Dates: Bad Day?

Have you ever had a bad day?

If your mental answer to that question was no, are you human? How long have you been living on this earth? 

Coffee Dates: Bad Day?

Most of us can think of times from recent to even years ago where we were having a bad day.

Maybe you had some good reasons to be upset, maybe you just woke up sad, both happen. 

I was having a bad day (well, more like a bad week if I’m being honest) a few days ago that made me think of this blog topic.

Why was I having a bad week?

There honestly weren’t any great reasons, aside from some petty drama that I wasn’t even involved in, nothing terrible had happened to me that week.

But because I was in that sad and a little bit down on myself state of mind, I soon found other reasons to be sad.

I got my feelings hurt by jokes that were simply that: jokes. Normally, I would have laughed, but instead, I fought back tears.

Clumsy mistakes started seeming like huge travesties on my part.

IMG_8636

It’s like being up at 3 a.m. when you’ve had a long school day: everything just seems ten times worse and like the world is going to end. 

Except, it’s during the day, throughout your week, when you can’t just sit in bed and stare at the wall, you actually have to do stuff.

You have to interact with people, and that’s when your bad day can start affecting other people’s days.

Obviously, most of us don’t want that for others.

We don’t want to make others feel bad, but yet, our bad days can lead to snapping at others, overlooking the needs of friends, and pushing loved ones away.

When we’re so focused on ourselves and our problems, we tend to forget that others have struggles too. 

I could come here and tell y’all that when the bad days come you guys need to take a second and pray, read your Bible, etc…

 

While you should do that, 100%, for some reason people tend to want more of a solution for a bad day.

I’m here to give it.

Are you ready? This could change both of our lives…

Stop focusing on yourself. 

Whoa, and I’m not being sarcastic when I write that, whoa.

One lesson that was taught from my youth group when I was denominational was this one:

The man teaching it that night turned to the white erase board, uncapped his marker, and then looked back at us.

“Kids, I’m about to teach y’all something huge. Something I’m still trying to learn.”

He wrote “It’s not about you” in big blocky letters on that board.

To be honest, that’s all I remember of that lesson.

But it was true:

It’s not about you or me.

 

Isn’t that what a lot of bad days are; us thinking it’s about us?

I know for me it is, I’m being selfish and throwing myself a pity party.

It’s ridiculous, I can be so focused on God and on helping others and then just throw all the progress I’ve made in that area to the wind just because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

I don’t want to do that, I don’t want to be like that, and I know you don’t either.

IMG_0423

How can we work on getting better with handling our bad days? 

 

  • Remember the bigger picture. Do we take a second every time we start to focus solely on ourselves to remember God, His sacrifice, His children? We need to look to Him instead of to ourselves. (Proverbs 3:5-7).

 

  • Draw closer to God (James 4:8-9).

 

  • Replace your discouragement with encouragement (1 Peter 4:13).

 

  • Focus on truth (Philippians 4:8).

Are your thoughts on your bad days…

 

-True?

-Honest?

-Just?

-Pure?

-Lovely?

-Of good report?

-Virtuous?

-Praiseworthy?

If not, then why are you thinking of them?

  • Talk to a trusted person in your life, they can help you sort through your emotions. If they’re like my mom, they might Edna-from-the-incredibles-slap you in the face with a magazine, but you don’t have to sort through tough times alone. (Also, my email is always open and I try to respond as soon as possible if you need to reach out for encouragement or prayers).

 

Let’s stop letting our bad days control us.

You’ve got this, friend.

We’ve got this. :))

let's chat

What do you do when you have a bad day?

What advice would you give?

signature