Coffee Dates: In Every Season

Hey, how are you?

It’s been a second since I’ve done a post like this because I’ve just been empty when it comes to inspiration, and every time I start writing something it comes off in the wrong way.

However, I’ve realized that what I have been trying to write and keep deleting can be summed up in two sentences: 

It’s hard to be content in every season, especially the lonely ones. 

Right now, I am really struggling with being happy with where I am. 

Wow, that wasn’t so hard to write, I don’t know why I’ve had around ten drafts of me trying to say that… 

Coffee Dates In Every Season

Seasons can be tough.

Maybe you’re like me and you’re in one that you don’t really want to be in right now.

People tell me to enjoy this season of my youth, but as I’m sure you also know, that’s easier said than done. 

It’s hard to be content in a season of singleness when you don’t really want to be single.

It’s hard to be content in a season of youth when it feels like your age (or lack of it) is the only thing people see when they look at you.

It’s hard to be content in a season of little close friends when you crave connection and to be needed by others.

It’s hard, but it’s not impossible.

The Bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 3 that to everything there is a season, which means yes, there is a season to be single, lonely, and young, and even though sometimes it can be hard to understand why, we can still understand that we need to keep going.

“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”-Galatians 6:9

How can the season we’re in be used for good? 

For me, a big thing I realized was time, I have a lot of time, especially since COVID. Sometimes I think that I have way too much time because I often spend it overanalyzing things.

However, I have so much time that I wouldn’t have if I had a social life or a boyfriend, which might sound depressing, but that means that right now, I can wholeheartedly study the word because of how little distractions there are in my life.

Not only I am capable of getting into that habit now when it’s easy versus trying to dedicate myself to it when I’m in a busier season, but I have no excuse. 

I should always make time for God, but right now, I don’t really have to. I already have so much time that I can give to Him instead of using it to worry or wish that I had other things to do.

And you know what? I have come to enjoy parts of this season.

I enjoy being able to read my Bible on my bed while drinking coffee in the morning, I enjoy reading my Bible in the evening, I enjoy being able to go on evening runs, and watching the sunset over the fields. I enjoy talking to my mom late into the night, I enjoy driving back home from work with a little bit more money than I had that morning. I enjoy the quiet of this season.

So, what should you and I do in these seasons? 

We need to refocus and…

  • Seek the kingdom first (Matthew 6:33).
  • Understand that we need to be content where God has put us even when it’s hard (Philippians 4:11).
  • Know that God is with us (Romans 8:28).
  • Know that we are stronger than our struggles when we are with Him (1 Corinthians 10:13).
  • Understand that there is more to life than the things we are currently wanting (Luke 12:15).
  • Trust in the Lord (Psalm 91:1-16 ).

 

The world may tell us that we should always be wanting more, that we are not where we should be at our age or place in life, but the Bible says: 

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”-Romans 12:2

The world may tell us to seek after our own selfish pleasures, but the Bible says: 

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”-Matthew 6:33-34

When seasons are hard, we really need to take a step back and ask ourselves, “Am I living this season for me or for God?”

And then: “Who should I be living this season for?” 

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How are you doing with the season you’re currently in?

 

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Coffee Dates: Bad Day?

Have you ever had a bad day?

If your mental answer to that question was no, are you human? How long have you been living on this earth? 

Coffee Dates: Bad Day?

Most of us can think of times from recent to even years ago where we were having a bad day.

Maybe you had some good reasons to be upset, maybe you just woke up sad, both happen. 

I was having a bad day (well, more like a bad week if I’m being honest) a few days ago that made me think of this blog topic.

Why was I having a bad week?

There honestly weren’t any great reasons, aside from some petty drama that I wasn’t even involved in, nothing terrible had happened to me that week.

But because I was in that sad and a little bit down on myself state of mind, I soon found other reasons to be sad.

I got my feelings hurt by jokes that were simply that: jokes. Normally, I would have laughed, but instead, I fought back tears.

Clumsy mistakes started seeming like huge travesties on my part.

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It’s like being up at 3 a.m. when you’ve had a long school day: everything just seems ten times worse and like the world is going to end. 

Except, it’s during the day, throughout your week, when you can’t just sit in bed and stare at the wall, you actually have to do stuff.

You have to interact with people, and that’s when your bad day can start affecting other people’s days.

Obviously, most of us don’t want that for others.

We don’t want to make others feel bad, but yet, our bad days can lead to snapping at others, overlooking the needs of friends, and pushing loved ones away.

When we’re so focused on ourselves and our problems, we tend to forget that others have struggles too. 

I could come here and tell y’all that when the bad days come you guys need to take a second and pray, read your Bible, etc…

 

While you should do that, 100%, for some reason people tend to want more of a solution for a bad day.

I’m here to give it.

Are you ready? This could change both of our lives…

Stop focusing on yourself. 

Whoa, and I’m not being sarcastic when I write that, whoa.

One lesson that was taught from my youth group when I was denominational was this one:

The man teaching it that night turned to the white erase board, uncapped his marker, and then looked back at us.

“Kids, I’m about to teach y’all something huge. Something I’m still trying to learn.”

He wrote “It’s not about you” in big blocky letters on that board.

To be honest, that’s all I remember of that lesson.

But it was true:

It’s not about you or me.

 

Isn’t that what a lot of bad days are; us thinking it’s about us?

I know for me it is, I’m being selfish and throwing myself a pity party.

It’s ridiculous, I can be so focused on God and on helping others and then just throw all the progress I’ve made in that area to the wind just because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

I don’t want to do that, I don’t want to be like that, and I know you don’t either.

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How can we work on getting better with handling our bad days? 

 

  • Remember the bigger picture. Do we take a second every time we start to focus solely on ourselves to remember God, His sacrifice, His children? We need to look to Him instead of to ourselves. (Proverbs 3:5-7).

 

  • Draw closer to God (James 4:8-9).

 

  • Replace your discouragement with encouragement (1 Peter 4:13).

 

  • Focus on truth (Philippians 4:8).

Are your thoughts on your bad days…

 

-True?

-Honest?

-Just?

-Pure?

-Lovely?

-Of good report?

-Virtuous?

-Praiseworthy?

If not, then why are you thinking of them?

  • Talk to a trusted person in your life, they can help you sort through your emotions. If they’re like my mom, they might Edna-from-the-incredibles-slap you in the face with a magazine, but you don’t have to sort through tough times alone. (Also, my email is always open and I try to respond as soon as possible if you need to reach out for encouragement or prayers).

 

Let’s stop letting our bad days control us.

You’ve got this, friend.

We’ve got this. :))

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What do you do when you have a bad day?

What advice would you give?

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When An Absent Family Member Leaves a Void

Absence. 

It’s such a simple word, but one that is all too real for so many people.

Whether it’s the absence of biological parents, relatives, siblings, etc. it’s painful.

Maybe it’s absence from death, separation, or dysfunction.

Nevertheless, absence stings. 

When An Absent Family Member Leaves a Void

An empty chair, friends speaking about family traditions you can only dream of having, seeing a child with a family member of theirs–the role of which was missing from your childhood. 

All of these and so many more can be so painful to many.

There’s the frustration of it sometimes: why do I miss someone that I never knew? Why do I feel like I’ve lost something when I’ve never had it? 

Why can’t they be here?

Am I not enough for them to be in my life?

Why couldn’t they be the grandfather, uncle, aunt, sister, mom, etc. that I needed?

Sometimes in cases of dysfunction, you just want to call them and say:

“I’m tired of wishing other peoples’ family members were in your place.” 

 

It’s lonely, it’s isolating, it’s painful, it feels like a hole in your chest–a void in your heart.

 

Sadly, it’s common for people who feel this emptiness due to an absent family member to seek to fill that void with substances, other people, and worldly possessions.

However, did you know that there is someone who will never fail us? 

Someone who:

  • Is the perfect father (Matthew 5:48)
  • Knows you through and through (Jeremiah 1:5)
  • Sees value in you (Luke 12:7)
  • Loves you (1 John 4:7-9)
  • Sacrificed His life so you could live (Galatians 2:20)

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Life will let us down, our loved ones will let us down, but God will never let us down.

Unlike unreliable family members, He never changes (Hebrews 13:8).

God doesn’t abandon His children (1 John 4:16).

God doesn’t neglect His children (Matthew 7:11).

“Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”-Matthew 11:28-30

Absent family members can leave a huge void.

God can fill that void and any others.

“Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, to the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;”-Ephesians 1:5-7

But how do we become children of God?
How do we get into Christ?

Well, the answer is simple and is clearly seen in the New Testament examples of people becoming Christians.

One is the story about the Philippian jailer:

“Then he called for a light, ran in, and fell down trembling before Paul and Silas. And he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

So they said, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.” Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house. And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their stripes. And immediately he and all his family were baptized. Now when he had brought them into his house, he set food before them; and he rejoiced, having believed in God with all his household.”-Acts 16:25-31

Constantly we read about people…

-Hearing the gospel (Romans 10:13)

-Believing the gospel (John 8:24)

-Repenting of their sins (Acts 2:38)

-Confessing their faith (Romans 10:9)

-Baptized into Christ for the remission of their sins (1 Peter 3:21)

-Remaining faithful (Colossians 1:21)

This is the process we read, the one that the Bible gives us.

It’s so simple, yet man has made it seem so complex.

Our earthly families will fail us, leave us, and eventually pass away, but God died so we would be able to be saved and become a child of Him.

“Then they that gladly received his word were baptized: and the same day there were added unto them about three thousand souls.”-Acts 2:41

 

One day, everyone who obeyed Him and His word will (2 Thessalonians 1:8) be in heaven, and it will be far better than any family reunion we can imagine on this mere earth. 

 

But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.

For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass:

For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was.

But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.”-James 1:22-25

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Aren’t you glad that we can be children of the one true God?

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