A Reminder of Death

Hey there.

I had planned to post something I’m still currently writing. I was going to finish it and publish it yesterday, but then I found out my grandma had passed away in the night, which halted my current writing. 

I loved my grandma, but I didn’t expect her death to hit me as hard as it did.

 Maybe it was because I wasn’t able to be with my family during this shock. This week is my first week moved out from home and my first week not being around and talking to my family daily. It’s weird to realize things will never be the same again in so many ways. 

Maybe it was because death reminds you how temporary and fast-fading everything in this life is. Death makes you realize that we are all mortal and that time will eventually run out for all of us. Sometimes there is comfort in death. Other times all you can hear is the lyrics of “You Never Mentioned Him to Me” and the pounding guilt in your head as you realize that there is no comfort to be found in the death of the unsaved, no truthful “they’re in a better place” statement. 

Either way, the death of someone is painful. It’s absence. It’s those left behind wondering how one can fill the vacancy of a person. Is that even possible?  

All there is now is a memory, now all you can do is hold your loved one in a picture frame. 

Yet, while death is the end for us on earth, I hold on to the hope and knowledge that there will be an end to death one day because Jesus has already conquered the grave. We all have the choice to be with Him for eternity, and while that is a scary thought for me sometimes when it comes to people I know haven’t obeyed and still are living in sin, I know I can trust that God is good, God is just, and that His plans are far greater than mine. 

“…for then he would have had to suffer repeatedly since the foundation of the world. But as it is, he has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself. And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment, so Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him.”-Hebrews 9:26-28

 “And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”-Revelation 2:4

“So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.”

“O Death, where is your sting?

O Hades, where is your victory?”‘-1 Corinthians 15:54-55

I spent a good part of yesterday crying on my boyfriend’s bedroom floor. I spent another part of yesterday laughing as I told him some of my memories of my grandma. 

Sadly, I don’t have many due to not living close to my grandma, but I know that she loved me, and I know I loved her.

When I was younger, we wrote letters back and forth for many years. I still have a few of the ones she wrote me. I don’t remember why I stopped writing her. I wish I hadn’t. Anne Frank was right when she wrote that regret is stronger than gratitude. I remember telling her everything when I wrote her, every tiny detail. We’d write about birds, flowers, and funny moments with my family. That’s how I’d like to remember her, my childhood pen pal, the person who I recorded every unimportant thing for because she made them feel important, she made me feel important.

I don’t have much else to say, to anyone reading this, please remember that our time here is only a second in the grand scheme of things.

What I’ve Learned About Being a Woman While Trying to Raise Support for Bible School

As most of my readers probably know by now, I am going to a Bible school starting this August. I’m super excited to learn all that I can during my time as a student.

For those who don’t know, the school I’m going to is tuition-free, however, I must pay for living expenses and supplies while not being able to work because the school is four years put into two. This meant I had to raise support, and I did! I’m so happy to have made my support.

Raising support as a girl was so stressful at times that I felt sick and went many nights without sleeping.

I’m going to share a few of the comments and remarks I’ve come across while working to find people who would support me.

I hesitated to share these because I don’t want to shame or point a finger at anybody and say “these types of people are the problem!” that’s not what I’m trying to do. I understand the point of some of these questions. I understand that most of those remarks weren’t meant to be demeaning. I understand wanting to put money in someone’s journey that will become a preacher because they’re right, I will never be a preacher or an elder.

I share these to show the discouragement I did face, even though I know the hearts of everyone who made comments along those lines were good.

I’m very grateful for the support that I have been given. My current congregation, a few other congregations, and a lot of wonderful people have come to my support. Knowing that there are people who do believe in me and my goals is encouraging and motivating to do my best as I enter the school year.

Today, I wanted to talk about what I’ve learned from trying to go to a Bible school as a girl, something that I didn’t know was looked down upon by a lot of people until I decided to become a student.


Sorry, we don’t support girls.

My first thought was, “Why?

You would think that me saying I wanted to be the strongest Christian I could be and seeking to gain more knowledge and teaching skills would be a good thing, after all, women still teach Bible classes for kids and they teach other women, isn’t that important?

A lot of people think my ultimate goal is to be married, they are wrong, marriage is merely a side goal in the grand scheme of life, yet, wouldn’t these people want me to be ultimately equipped with Bible knowledge to teach my future kids?

Women are the main teachers of the next generation in their most impressionable stages, doesn’t that matter?

We see over and over again in the Bible how an ungodly woman can bring so much harm to her husband and the church, think Samson, Solomon, and the “Jezebel” woman harming the church in Thyatira.

Being a strong, faithful Christian is a command to all, even to women.

In light of all these things and even more, why would you discourage a girl to go to school to learn more about God’s word and how to rightly divide and teach it? Wouldn’t you encourage everyone who had the opportunity to go instead?

There’s no need for you to go to school.

To which I would ask, “Have you ever gone to a women’s class at an event?” The answer would be no because I’m talking to men and they have no clue, but trust me, there’s a need.

Going to a women’s class is typically the biggest letdown. You sit there wishing you had just snuck into the men’s who are currently having an in-depth study in the other room, as the poor, shaking woman up front reads one verse, make a surface-level application, and ask the age-old question of, “Are you usually a Martha or a Mary?”

Once again, I am not trying to shame anyone, I know a fair amount of wonderful speakers who are women, I think application from the story about Martha and Mary is good even though I’ve heard it a lot.

Yet, sadly, it’s very expected for women’s classes to be bad, and it shouldn’t be.

I’m lucky to be in a congregation where the women in it are strong and are talented speakers, but I’ve gone places where I leave thinking, “I have to learn how to speak so I can help the next generation to not sit through that.”

A negative way I would describe my experience in the church as a woman (there are MANY positives, don’t get me wrong) would be being told that I have potential, that I have a purpose, that I can be as strong of a Christian as any man, and then every class I go to directed towards my gender is about being a good wife and mother. Yes, those are important and good things that I want to learn about, but there are other things such as being faithful that I think are even greater. To be a good wife and a good mother one day, I first have to be a good Christian, but that is forgotten.

One time I was with my boyfriend and there was a stack of doctrinal books (I’m keeping this vague), and I pointed to the one book on the table that said for women on the cover, and I said, “Open that book.”
He did, it was a recipe book. Among books that gave tips for effective teaching and for studying the bible deeper on your own.

He thought it was really funny that the only book directed towards women on that table was a recipe book, and there’s nothing wrong with recipes. I think cooking is an important skill for women to have. I didn’t learn how to cook on my own until I was around sixteen and luckily my mom realized that we needed to fix that problem so I started cooking dinner at least once a week that summer if not more, and that’s how I learned to cook, it is a needed skill, don’t get me wrong.

But, I told my boyfriend that the recipe book for women alone up there among all of the deeper books for men was how it felt sometimes in the church.

Underestimated.

Yes, this is good that I can do, but do you realize that there is even more that I’m capable of?

You are just going to be a wife.

I don’t like this one, this is probably my least favorite one because suddenly I feel so ashamed to ever want to be a wife and a mother at all.

I’m not sure if that makes sense, but sometimes marriage and motherhood feel so demeaning to me because of the overall attitudes of, “That’s all you’re good for.” and “That’s falling short on your potential.” that I am constantly torn between.

It’s the older generation’s overall attitude of,

Only a wife and a mom.”

And my generation’s attitude of,

Just a wife and a mom.”

Both of those are demeaning to women, and neither are correct.

I think that’s a big thing with my generation of girls, we’ve felt like we are going to be confined to only a wife and a mom, so we’ve started saying things like, “I don’t want to just be a mom.”

Yet, there’s not one person who is only or just one thing.

First and foremost, I am a Christian, I will be a Christian whether I get married or not.

Yes, one day I hope to get married, but credits don’t start to roll when you say “I do”, this is not a movie. My life and my purpose doesn’t start or end at marriage.

So, what have I learned?

I know up until this point the majority of this post is just me responding to the common remarks I get, but truthfully, these did get to me.

I have been fighting two parts of me that were supposed to be harmonized and equally important.

When I first started planning to go to Southwest, I had reached the conclusion that I would be single forever, for one, there aren’t a lot of good guys and there weren’t any in my life that I could see a future with. Another reason was to prove a point, I am valuable, whether I am dating, engaged, married with kids, or single. I have a role to play in the church no matter what.

Here’s the thing though, I like being a helper and I do want to be a stay-at-home mom one day, I’ve wanted that since I can remember.

So, here I am. There have been times that I’ve thought, “If only I was a man.” and times where I wondered if people were right and that I should just get married instead of going to Bible school, maybe they’re right that it’s a waste of time.

I suppress one part of me for the other. I leave out wanting to be a wife and a mother one day when people ask me my plans for my life because I don’t want anyone to look down on me.

I want to write books. I want to speak to fellow women. I want to reach the lost. I want to be a strong Christian. I want to be a person people know they can go to for help and prayers. I want to make an impact, a difference, to be someone who makes the world a better place even if it’s in a small way.

Yet… who said raising godly children isn’t making an impact or a difference? Who said you can’t be a strong Christian and a wife?

Who made us think that we can’t do both?

Why do I think I can’t do both?

I am not one thing.

No one is.

This year, I’ve learned it isn’t possible to just be one thing, you cannot fit in a box or a stereotype, and that’s a wonderful, beautiful part of being human, isn’t it?

God made us with so much potential and hope.

Jael, Deborah, Rahab, Esther, Mary, Priscilla, and many, many more women in the Bible prove that women aren’t just or only wives and mothers. There’s so much more to us.

Obviously, you don’t have to go to Bible school to be a strong and knowledgeable Christian, but there is nothing wrong with wanting to.

We are here to glorify God and point others to Him before anything else, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure I am equipping myself to do that to the best of my abilities.

I’ve learned that I can be a woman and, hopefully, a strong Christian leader and a good example in my own right one day.

Watch Who You’re With: Your Relationships Matter

Hey guys,

Once again, I know it’s been a while, and I’m done apologizing for my absences because I know with bible school starting in a few months that apologies will quickly become my only posts on here and I don’t want that. So, from now on, I’ll post when I post, I’m no longer a consistent blogger like I was in my younger teen years. The Grace that posted twice a week is long gone.

I do, however, have a post for y’all today (shocker, I know).

Our Sunday morning Bible class in my congregation just began going through James, we finished the first chapter a few weeks ago.

A comment stuck out to me during the class and I keep going back and expanding on it, so here I am.

We read through James 1:13-14:

“Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:

 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.”

Then, the speaker made the comment that I’ve been thinking about, “We are tempted when we are drawn away of our own lusts, enticed. This means you need to be careful. you have to watch who you’re with, you have to watch where you go.”

You have to watch who you’re with, you have to watch where you go.

I think it’s all too common for us to get careless sometimes.

“Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.”-1 Corinthians 15:33

How many times have we heard this verse in a lesson?

I’m sure most people reading this could quote it easily, yet, are we still deceived despite knowing this verse?

We are warned of many types of friendships in the Bible.

We are warned about being friends with:

  • Foolish people (Proverbs 14:6-7).
  • Gossips and flatters (Proverbs 20:19).
  • Angry people (Proverbs 22:24-25).
  • Brethren who won’t turn from their sins (1 Corinthians 5:1-11).

Why is it so important to watch who we’re with? Why does the Bible warn against walking with certain people so many different times and so bluntly?

Because we become who we are around.

You are the company you keep.

“…Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.”-Proverbs 22:25 (about being friends with an angry man).

Who your best friend is matters.

When I became a Christian, I noticed a shift in my friendships. Suddenly, I realized how superficial the majority of my high school ones were and I couldn’t talk about spiritual matters to them without them rolling their eyes and saying, “Grace, all you talk about is the Bible now.” And they would try to pull me back to my old ways.

They didn’t like that I no longer participated in certain things like prom, dressing immodestly, or swearing because it implied that them doing it was also wrong, so they tried to get me back on their side again. They told me to loosen up, asked me what the big deal was, asked me why it mattered, and then brushed off my answers because they didn’t truly care what the Bible said, they wanted to do what they wanted to do.

It was discouraging and I felt so alone, I was overjoyed when I started making friends in my new congregation who enjoyed having those conversations with me because it mattered to them too.

I remember the first time one of my good friends called me out on using a euphemism when I had first been converted, I had no idea what she meant, but she explained it to me with such patience. I realized that having friends that aren’t afraid to show you when you’re falling short, matters. Those are the type of people I want to be close friends with, the ones I know have the same goals as me and will help me be the best I can be.

You need friends who care about your spiritual wellbeing. I’m not saying to never be friends with non-Christians or weak Christians, do be their friend.

Be an example and a teacher if possible, but don’t forget to find strong Christians to be friends with too, make those your best friends because they’re the ones who will have your back.

You need friends who remind you of your goals, remind you of the truth of God’s word, and keep you accountable.

If your friends aren’t drawing you nearer to God, you need to take a second and ask yourself who or what they’re drawing you to instead.

Do not be deceived, bad company ruins good morals.

“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.

For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.”-Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Don’t only be friends with people who aren’t able to help you up because they are down themselves.

On the same note: who you’re dating matters as well.

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”-2 Corinthians 6:14

When I first became allowed to date there were a few guys that liked me and even tried asking me out, but I quickly told them no because I had promised myself that I would never date a non-Christian, as well as raising my standards in other areas that non-Christian guys didn’t even come close to meeting.

I’m so glad I never settled for less.

I’ve watched so many dear friends struggle in their unequally yoked relationships and feel discouraged with their partner’s loose morals or lack of interest in the Bible, while my boyfriend is a constant encouragement and is always reminding me of the truth in God’s word. This contrast alone makes me thank God that I stuck to my standards and never let them slip, especially in that area.

God needs to be first, no matter what, and this includes in your relationships.

If your significant other doesn’t even put God first in their own life, God and honoring Him won’t be put first in y ‘all’s relationship.

1 Corinthians 10:31 tells us to glorify God in whatever we do, you want someone who has that same goal as you from the start of your relationship.

Don’t date someone who you already know doesn’t share your values and morals, that is a recipe for failure and heartbreak. It is way easier to be pulled down to someone’s level than to pull them up to yours.

I’ve watched many of my guy and girl friends date people simply because they were attractive or because they were desperate for a significant other and the person liked them, the Bible says in Proverbs 31:30 that “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” This goes for guys too, the most important thing in our lives is God, make sure that’s the most important thing in your partner’s life.

One of your first reasons, if not the first reason, for liking or dating someone should be their love and obedience to the Lord, not their looks, not the way they say your name, not the romantic dates they promise to take you on, but their love for the Lord and His church.

Please learn from the mistakes of Samson and Solomon.

I’ve seen so many problems stem from dating people who don’t have the same morals and goals as you.

Put your relationship with God first, don’t even look at non-Christians as boyfriend or girlfriend material because right now they are a lost soul and they need Jesus, not a relationship.

A Christian relationship is worth the wait, trust me.

Do not be deceived, bad company ruins good morals.

We have to watch who we’re with, we have to watch where we go, especially in relationships with others.