I had planned to post something I’m still currently writing. I was going to finish it and publish it yesterday, but then I found out my grandma had passed away in the night, which halted my current writing.
I loved my grandma, but I didn’t expect her death to hit me as hard as it did.
Maybe it was because I wasn’t able to be with my family during this shock. This week is my first week moved out from home and my first week not being around and talking to my family daily. It’s weird to realize things will never be the same again in so many ways.
Maybe it was because death reminds you how temporary and fast-fading everything in this life is. Death makes you realize that we are all mortal and that time will eventually run out for all of us. Sometimes there is comfort in death. Other times all you can hear is the lyrics of “You Never Mentioned Him to Me” and the pounding guilt in your head as you realize that there is no comfort to be found in the death of the unsaved, no truthful “they’re in a better place” statement.
Either way, the death of someone is painful. It’s absence. It’s those left behind wondering how one can fill the vacancy of a person. Is that even possible?
All there is now is a memory, now all you can do is hold your loved one in a picture frame.
Yet, while death is the end for us on earth, I hold on to the hope and knowledge that there will be an end to death one day because Jesus has already conquered the grave. We all have the choice to be with Him for eternity, and while that is a scary thought for me sometimes when it comes to people I know haven’t obeyed and still are living in sin, I know I can trust that God is good, God is just, and that His plans are far greater than mine.
“…for then he would have had to suffer repeatedly since the foundation of the world. But as it is, he has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself. And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment, so Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him.”-Hebrews 9:26-28
“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”-Revelation 2:4
“So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.”
“O Death, where is your sting?
O Hades, where is your victory?”‘-1 Corinthians 15:54-55
I spent a good part of yesterday crying on my boyfriend’s bedroom floor. I spent another part of yesterday laughing as I told him some of my memories of my grandma.
Sadly, I don’t have many due to not living close to my grandma, but I know that she loved me, and I know I loved her.
When I was younger, we wrote letters back and forth for many years. I still have a few of the ones she wrote me. I don’t remember why I stopped writing her. I wish I hadn’t. Anne Frank was right when she wrote that regret is stronger than gratitude. I remember telling her everything when I wrote her, every tiny detail. We’d write about birds, flowers, and funny moments with my family. That’s how I’d like to remember her, my childhood pen pal, the person who I recorded every unimportant thing for because she made them feel important, she made me feel important.
I don’t have much else to say, to anyone reading this, please remember that our time here is only a second in the grand scheme of things.