My sister and I were singing along to Someone to You by the Banners the other day, and if you have siblings you know that hearing lyrics come out of your eleven-year-old sister’s mouth can have a way of making you hear them, which sometimes results in a song being quickly skipped.
However, these lyrics weren’t questionable, they were honest.
If you haven’t heard the song, here are my highlights of the lyrics:
I don’t wanna die or fade away
I just wanna be someone…
Dive and disappear without a trace
I just wanna be someone
Well, doesn’t everyone?
I just wanna be somebody to someone…
And if the sun’s upset and the sky goes cold
Then if the clouds get heavy and start to fall
I really need somebody to call my own…
I am the type of person who struggles with the constant need to feel needed, and that is something I have been working on: not trying to find my identity and worth simply in the opinions that others have of me.
I told a friend once that I’m really working on being genuine because sometimes I fear that I am only helpful or friendly to people for myself.
I’ve gotten better, but now a new struggle arises… where does that end? At the same time that I yearn to be a need in other’s lives, I also push people away because I don’t want to need myself.
“Grace, you need to realize that it’s ok to need others,” my therapist said to me in one of our last sessions, “you are human, you need connection, you are a social creature, and that’s ok. It’s ok to be lonely. It’s ok to need help from others sometimes. Shutting yourself off from feeling isn’t going to get you anywhere.”
She was right.
I’m learning that it’s ok to need others, isn’t that why we have the church? God knew we would need people in our lives to help encourage and build us up.
One of God’s first observations of man other than very good was that it wasn’t good for man to be alone.
Yet, this ramble isn’t the point of this post, because while I am learning that it’s ok to need other people, I am still trying to remind myself of Who I need the most.
It’s hard to remember that during the holidays, so that’s why I wanted to write to you this morning.
You mean something to someone.
You mean something to someone even if this holiday season is making you question that.
This time can be hard. I wrote a post about it in the past, and afterward, I received several emails from people telling me how horrible this time of the year is for them. They tell me that they’re alone, their children don’t talk to them or bring the grandkids over, this is the time of the year that they see people spending time with family they don’t have.
Maybe it’s hard because you’re single and while you know that your completion doesn’t rest in another and that no one by holding your hand can hold the whole of you as God can, it’s so easy to let those songs sink into your head and to feel desperately alone while watching other couples this time of year.
Maybe you’re grieving the death of a loved one or a relationship and everything right now just feels like a stab to the heart.
Maybe it’s just as simple and as complicated as seasonal depression.
No matter your circumstance, I’ve written this on my old blog, but I’ll rewrite it here:
It’s ok if Christmas lights are reflected in your tears this week.
I pray they aren’t or I pray that those are tears of joy and not sadness, but it’s ok.
However, it’s not ok to start believing those lies you tell yourself.
“But Grace, you don’t understand how terribly isolated I feel right now, maybe those things I think about myself late at night are true… maybe I am unwanted and alone.”
Listen, I’ve been there and I won’t lie and say that there aren’t some days where I look up and I am there once again, but to that I want us to remember the actual Truth.
“When You said, “Seek My face,”
My heart said to You, “Your face, Lord, I will seek.”
Do not hide Your face from me;
Do not turn Your servant away in anger;
You have been my help;
Do not leave me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation.
When my father and my mother forsake me,
Then the Lord will take care of me.“-Psalm 27:8-10
You are someone to not just someone, but to the One who made the world and everything in it. You are so wanted and so loved that God looked at you and saw all your shortcomings, saw every mistake you would make, every heart you would break, and every ugly thing that would become about yourself before you even breathed air. He saw you and continues to do so, dirty laundry and all, and yet, He still looked at you and looked at the price that He would have to pay to save you from your future sins and shortcomings and He decided that you were worth it.
You still are.
You are not a poetic tragedy. You are not a victim. You are not forgotten or left behind. You are not unwanted or unloved.
You are loved. You are needed. You have value and more worth than you or I can ever understand.
Why can’t you just accept that?
Why can’t you just accept that you are someone to Someone?
You are here and you matter.
It’s hard to understand at first, because the walls we have built that cage us isn’t as easy to tear down like wrapping paper is when you peel it off of a box.
It’s hard to let it sink in, because insecurities don’t just unravel with a simple tug like a lace ribbon.
But listen, listen, listen:
You are able to make a difference.
Yet, that difference will never be made if you let yourself stay where you are right now.
You could stay where you are with tears in your eyes and discouragement in your heart forever, that should scare you, I know it scares me.
You are more than just the ache in your heart right now, my friend.
You are not only capable of being more, you were made to be more.
Nothing is going to change in your life or mine, if we don’t start working on making progress despite our emotions.
At the end of this week, we’ll pick the bits of wrapping paper off the floor and take down our lights, and life will go on.
The world will keep on spinning and we will be ok, because thankfully we were and still are somebody to the One who matters most.